Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I miss him

Today was Chase's sixth month birthday, it was kind of hard though, I thought of him all day. One thing came down to feeling sorry for Reese. I thought, Poor Reese, he never got to really say that he had a brother on earth and now he is a big brother. We all got a chance to smile and be proud of ourselves, we all got to hold Chase and Karly got to hold Reese and I did too, and then I got to hold Karly. But Reese didn't get to hold Chase, he got to hold Chase's little finger and tell him to keep fighting, and I think that when Chase heard Reese say that he was happy, he knew his older brother really loved him. Sometimes when I am sad or I miss Chase, I hold the blanket that he had over him, or I read the book my mom made for me from Chase, and I even listen to the song I sang at his funeral. That is all I have to do to think of him even though I don't have to have that stuff to think of him those things help me sometimes. If I was talking to him right now all I want him to know is, "I love you Chase."


  1. Emma, my precious, I miss Chase, too. I am so thankful you were able to meet Chase, even though we had to let him go. He will always be in our hearts, and anytime you want to remember him out loud, you can always call Gram - I love to remember him with someone. Miss you all sooo much

  2. Dear, sweet, Emma...I'm so sorry that you and your family have to go through this pain and sadness. I wish I could take it all away for you. You are so wise beyond your years to be thinking of your little brothers in such a loving way...and to be sad for Reese that he didn't get to hold Chase. But you will remind him that Chase knew how excited Reese was and how happy he was to meet his baby brother...and how their love for each other was witnessed by us all as Chase latched on to Reese's fingers, and Reese shook his little Maverick's hand. You will know when he needs that memory because you are such a WONDERFUL big sister! And, you know, being the oldest is the best! :) (Remember that when your patience is running thin!)

    I love you sweet EJ! You are an awesome blogger! I hope you feel better soon! miss you!

    Aunt Lyn

  3. Stopping by to say hello. I came across your blog and it stuck out to me. I recently lost my sweet angels Emma and Chase.

    Chase knows you love him and I wish we didn't have to feel this pain.

  4. I am so sorry about your son's loss. I too lost a son and one of the things I have grieved over most is the loss of my other son's brother. It is just so hard.