Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Fun and sadness at the same time

Over the last few weeks all I have done is play, well, recess and after school. I haven't wrote on my blog either, though I have made some friends. I signed up for some consoling at school and the four other kids in my group have all had someone taken away from them, and they feel the same pain that I do. I was surprised that the new friend of mine was in there too. of course, there was an old friend of mine who was in there. But when Hanna, (my new friend) told her story and why she was in the room with us, I didn't just feel sad for her, I felt that we had experienced the same thing, and at that same exact moment I felt like I was in the hospital again, holding Chase, crying my heart out, trying to tell him how much I loved him and telling him that I didn't want him to go, and when I finally snapped back to where I actually was, I somehow felt better, I didn't know how I could be happy at all when I lost my very own baby brother. I think it was that I just then felt that since Hanna had experienced the almost same thing, I thought that maybe we would have a longer friendship than I thought we would. Like when I use to go on the playground my thought would be "Oh, now what is going to happen today?" "Fight, or getting along?" But now, my only thought when I play with Hanna and her friends is, "Oh, what kind of fun are we going to have today?!"


  1. I want you to be happy, sweetie. I know how you feel--I feel the same. We are going to have sadness very close to our hearts for the rests of our lives. But we can still find happiness, too. I'm glad you met Hanna. I hope you can help her and she can help you getting through your sadness.

    Love you to Chase & back,

  2. Oh, Emma, I'm so glad you've found a new friend and especially one that you can share with -- knowing she's walking this journey with you at school. I'm sure you've made her feel better as well. :)

    You are so mature, Emma....even before you met your brother, Chase. As much as it makes my heart ache to see you have to feel this sadness, my wish for you is that someday you will see how Chase's life has made you even better than you thought possible! He is there...even though you can't see him...and he loves you...he watches over you...he is with you...he is part of you.

    I love you, EJ! (Remember, big sisters rock!)

    Aunt Lyn