Growing up is not easy, but with the help and support of those who love us and care about us, we can do anything we set our minds to.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
New Life
Hey guys, I'm back! If you follow my Mom's blog, you would know that I have a new baby brother, Owen Chase Pearson. He can make me laugh and cry, and he is cute even when he is mad. I love him and I thank Chase that he is here everyday with me. So, a few nights ago, I had a dream. It started out like this; we were in this star ship thing and we were going to crash land somewhere on Earth. When my family and I got out,(and no, Owen wasn't there) we started to walk around. We were in a building and there were bubblegum rappers and toys all around. We got out of the building and it didn't look like anything I had ever seen. It was all robotic and it was empty. So we started walking until we reached the next town and it was filled with people. We went into a building which turned out to be a hospital, then we started toward the back of the building. In the back, which by the way was a huge dandelion field, was empty, except for a glass box on a stand. I started to look in the box, and suddenly stopped. It was a body. Not just any body, Chase's body. Chase. My heart started pounding and I cried with tears of joy. He was alive. Laughing and smiling, just like Owen. There was one chord, and that chord helped him breathe. Other than that, he was free of any horrible equipment. However, the one chord was so fragile. I never got to hold him, like in my Mom's dreams. Just then though, after I was so happy, Reese started pulling on the chord, I was telling him to stop. He said he was just playing, and I was screaming for him to stop. He gave it one last tug, and in under a second, Chase withered to dust. I screamed and yelled and cried. I couldn't believe it, he was gone. My dream the soon ended. I woke up sweaty and crying. NO. I wouldn't believe it. Reese would never do such a thing. Reese is soooo much different then in that dream. Today, I looked at Chase's picture more closely than I usually do, and I noticed a cut in his hair. It was red and kind of bloody, I started to cry. He looked horrible. Swollen, cuts all over him, messed up hair. I had never thought of him like that. To me, he was some kind of angel, helping me with all my troubles. I thought of him like he had the thrown next to Jesus. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he was my little brother, in heaven, as an angel. It's hard without Chase, but I don't think I could live without precious little Owen either
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I remember holding Chase in that picture, honey. I didn't feel comfortable....I felt like he was floating above us, he wasn't in that body, because, yes, I thought he looked really bad, too. I was so sorry you didn't get to see him on Wednesday that week when he looked so completely perfect, except for those tubes. But I'm still glad we all held him. It was just so surreal. Holding Owen for the first time and for those first few weeks, all I could think about was Chase. I felt like I waited for that moment for so long and I was so thankful for Owen for helping me feel a little bit of Chase when I was holding him.
ReplyDeleteI hate that dream, sweetie. I'm sorry. Chase will come visit you sometime so that you can remember it. I know he will some day. Keep writing....I love to read your posts. I love you!
Emma-You are such an amazing young lady! You will have memories to share with Reese and Owen someday. That is going to be your gift to them from Chase. I see you going great places in life little lady, you have an empathy that many people will never have. I love knowing you Miss Emma!
ReplyDelete