Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I'm Back!

Hello again! I have really been skipping out on blogging and I wanted to start up again. As I hope you have heard, my mom is going to have a little baby boy!:) I'm so excited! I can't wait, but it is so hard to say I have mixed feeling about this baby, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I really, really wish Chase was here right now, but if he was here, the baby wouldn't exist. I don't want that, but I grieve and grieve about Chase not being here. I miss Chase so much, and I wish he was here right now, sitting in my mom's lap, asleep. Chase is such a memory, and I'm afraid that we might forget him someday, but my mom says that will never happen. I have written poems, songs and even sayings about him. He is so important to me, and I will never personally forget him. I have been so busy to really do anything, but I accidentally opened up a folder of my mom's something like "It will always be a mystery to me" and there are so many mysteries in this world that I can't count them. I always wonder where Chase is, playing with other angels in heaven, or even watching us. I guess that is one of the mysteries we will never find out.

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