Friday, December 18, 2009


Christmas is only seven days away right now and I can't wait until Jesus"s birthday. I am going to have fun with my family and friends but we will miss someone, someone so important to our family, Chase. This would be his very first Christmas, and I know my family will be a little sad. Nobody really knows what I mean sometimes but I am going to miss him more than I ever had. My family and I put up a tree just for Chase that was little but it meant a lot to us. It had some ornaments from the nurses in the hospital in Albuquerque that had taken care of Chase and pictures of Chase. But out of all the ornaments, my favorite happened to be a little sleeping angel that was a little baby boy wrapped around a little candle. It made me smile whenever I looked at it. That angel reminded me a lot about Chase. I miss him so much and Christmas will be so hard without him.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

As the days go by

Today the wind has really been gusty. My dad even made me stay inside just because of it. Of course now I know why he made me stay inside because a huge dead tree fell down right in front of our neighbors drive way. But he has two drive ways so he will be all right. The wind might be yucky but I think of it as Chase blowing me kisses. It sometimes makes me a little bit sadder. I know the wind brings everybody's mood to a crappy feeling but I think it is better to try to make memories than crappy feelings. I miss Chase so very much and it is so easy to think of Chase as a beautiful angel up in Heaven. I think my life has changed since then in good and bad ways. Days have gone by so very fast and I miss when I got to see and hold Chase. If I could hold Chase one more time and say one more thing for him to here, all I would say is, "Hey buddy, it's your big sis and I love you so much and I never, ever wanted you to go."Even though I would be crying my heart out I would mean it with all of my heart. Even though it might be hard to tell people who you are, don't be the one who gets lost in the crowd, let people know who you are, tell them how many people are in your family, even the ones who aren't here on earth. That's what I do, and it makes me feel good. But don't forget, make yourself comfortable. Do what makes you feel good. If you do what usually makes you happy, it'll make you feel good. Chase is my youngest brother and I am not going to forget him no matter what. I love him.